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How to express your feelings

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Expressing your feelings

Expressing your feelings can be a complicated process for some, and feeling uncomfortable sharing is not uncommon. It can be difficult to open up about our feelings, but sharing can benefit our relationships and wellbeing.

Why is it difficult to open up?

Many things can make it hard to open up:
• Tough topics - some experiences feel too painful to talk about
• Attachment issues - lack of secure attachment can make opening up difficult
• Social norms - in some cultures, it can feel like being your authentic self is discouraged
• Personality - if you are naturally more reserved, it might be difficult to express emotions

How to talk about your feelings

You can make the process of talking about your feelings easier:
• Take a deep breath
• Practice - constructively sharing your feelings is a skill and just like any skill, it can take practice
• Identify and accept your emotions - to effectively share your emotions, you need to identify your feelings correctly
• Choose the right listener and the right time - it is a good idea to choose someone who is open and understanding

Helping someone express their feelings

Is someone you care about having trouble opening up? Here are tips to help them:
• Agree to discuss the issue
• State your intentions
• Center and ground yourself before the discussion
• Take responsibility for your part in their emotions
• Communicate in a way that will promote trust, openness and safety
• Don't fall into the trap of justifying your actions
• Be patient
• Show appreciation
• Thank them for sharing

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